Be Still and Know That I Am God

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Just when I thought I had arrived at a settled place in my spiritual journey and habits, I entered a time of challenge. I did not seek a challenge, it came to me. I was asked to work with a Bible Study to be a leader of a weekly study group, and I accepted. 

I had no idea what it would do to me. Yes, that two letter word, ME.

I enjoy a routine. I enjoy accomplishing tasks that have been scheduled within a routine. I benefit from these accomplishments by feeling pretty good…about ME. Maybe that’s the point. ME. I had found a place of comfort and it was time to get uncomfortable. Time to shake up ME.

There is a story I love about Abigail and Nabel in the Old Testament. It’s in 1 Samuel 25. And it has always stood out to me that when Nabel is responding to David’s men regarding their request for provisions at the instruction of David, Nabel responds “Should I take MY bread and MY water and MY meat that I have killed for MY shearers and give it to men who come from I do not know where?” 1 Samuel 25:11. I knew that Nabel’s selfishness, mixed with his inability to respect the security benefit he had received by David’s men in the mountains where his sheep were grazing, along with Nabel’s lack of spiritual intuition regarding David, were the root causes of the potential disaster that was coming down on them. Yet I had not placed that “ME” selfishness at my doorstep before. As a wife, mother, and grandmother I am very task-full - everyday has multiple opportunities to serve others. Yet even though that is part of my life, serving my family, there are still parts of ME that, shall we say, remain unredeemed? 

So back to the routine. I like a plan and I very much like feeling organized and settled in MY  thoughts. I knew I should agree to the request to be a leader of this well established bible study. MY reason was that I thought I could use MY skills of bible study and organization to the table. No sweat. I am confident. Yet, I was blindsided by the struggle it has been for ME.

Now, this is a very small thing compared to the scope of what we all experience in life when we are presented with a struggle with illness, death, relationshipships and financial turmoil. Yet through my processing of this particular issue internally I heard the Holy Spirit tell ME, “Be still, and know that I am God”. It appears God wants ME to be still even among unsorted and unsettling concerns of mine. 

In Psalm 37, we are encouraged to not fret and to trust in, delight in, commit to, and to be still before God.

In Psalm 46, we are told that God is our refuge and our strength, and to behold His might works on the earth, and to be…still before God. 

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;...” Psalm 37:7a

“Be still, and know that I am God”...  Psalm 46:10a

I have fretted because I have between 13-17 women who are looking to me to facilitate the study and that is new to ME. Even though there have been five classes I still don’t feel the confidence I would have expected, and that’s a good thing. I have seen the LORD take over in even the smallest things through this process and help me, even sometimes take over. I guess it’s somewhat like the manna gathering, collecting just enough for that day. And that situation is working a change -  on the excessive, capitalized version of ME.