The Christian Addict

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As a writer you are always aware, or at least you should be, that every time you write you reveal something of yourself that you were not intending to. It’s just the nature of the beast. I am certainly aware of it and so I try to write with that in mind because although I write revealingly, I try not to write to be specifically open regarding my person.

Perhaps that is not a good trait if you consider writing an art. Aren’t artists supposed to create their art with abandon? And so I continue with less cloaking than usual.

Do you have a family member who is a Christian, at least they profess to be one, and they are an addict? For the sake of clarity I am referring to addiction to substances such as drugs, alcohol, or other chemicals or medicines. If you do, this is for us.

Currently there are two situations that are within my family/extended family boundaries that are heartbreaking, and very long running. There has been years and years of prayer regarding it. There have been multiple stays in hospitals and recovery centers, Christian based and otherwise. With every step forward there seems to be a precipice running alongside those steps, which yawns its open mouth waiting for a fall. And fall they do. And the pendulum swings back and forth, back and forth, taking your heart with it.

Now there is all kinds of advice out there for those going through this. There are all kinds of places that advertise themselves to be a safe haven to run to, both for the addict, and for your heart, as you try once again to entrust your loved one into the care of this place or person. Maybe even for a time you can relax while the problem is being dealt with by others. But reality is a cruel teacher. No matter the good intentions of those involved, the addict frequently returns to the prison of addiction. (And trust me, not everyone involved has good intentions as addiction and its treatment pays for salaries and lifestyle perks for many in the industry. Drug-related health care costs in the US are estimated to be 11 billion a year). These places are a business usually, Christian-based or not. In the Atlanta area there are many places that are simply a feeder program for factories and plants. The men or women check in and are given a job there to enable them to pay the weekly rent, frequently in accommodations that are wholly unlike the photos shown on websites. When you are desperate to get help for a loved one you read the advertising and marketing stuff for this or that place and you hope that if you just make the sacrifice financially to house them there, they will be cured, the statistics show that 40-60% of people coming out of these places will relapse.

So you are in this situation. You are a Christian that prays, believes in prayer, believes in answers to prayer. You want to understand. Trying to understand this issue when you are personally affected by it is frankly impossible. I just read in Luke 13 an answer Jesus gave regarding a dialogue He was having with the people around Him about two incidents of bad things happening to people, if they happened because the people were bad sinners, and He answers with a question as to what the people think of the the issue then He comments, “No, I tell you;”. The use of a semicolon in both verse three and verse five after the statement indicates He is just saying ‘No they were not worse sinners’, but He doesn’t go on to explain what they were. He leaves the question of why this happened to them unanswered. It is common with Jesus to leave specific questions unanswered as He was always going to the heart of the matter. And the heart of the addict is the foundational starting place in a cure. You don’t hold the key.

Yet here we are, dealing with the situation. What to do? I think what would be the first step in dealing with it is accepting that you are deficient in skills to cure your loved one. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it's true. Since the issue affects the whole family then the second step would be to be in agreement with each other on what you choose to do as obviously there are decisions to be made on how a family interacts with their addict family member. Do you put them on the street? Do you let them stay? Do you lend money? Do you buy assets such as a vehicle to enable them to find employment?  It’s not really what you do that will cure them as the answer lies with the addict, not you. But the unsettledness and anguish and sadness that comes with this problem causes disagreements within the families that have not worked out an agreement amongst themselves, accusing each other of causing problems with what they chose to do; with what they chose not to do. A manipulative addict will be evaluating WHATEVER you do to see how they can maneuver within the framework of decisions made to get what they want - the next high, so whatever you choose to do, be in agreement.

Are you an addict reading this? I have something to say to you. Self. Self-absorption. Self-pity. Self-degradation; lose yourself. It’s the best advice I can give you. I got it from an impeccable source. It’s not your spouse, your Dad, your Mom, your job, your house, your finances, your body shape - or any other thing that makes you an addict. It is your actions. That is the starting point for you. Start with you, then lose yourself in seeking God. I am not saying don’t work a program. I am not saying don’t go into treatment. I am just saying do so with great humility.

 “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  Matthew 10:38-39

This scripture in Jeremiah speaks to the heart of God for mankind, and it is the heart of God for each and every addict. The setting is Jeremiah prophesying to people in a bad place, a place of judgment, and it goes like this:

“For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”   Jeremiah 29:10-14                                                   

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6